Alicia Dougherty and her husband couldn’t wait to be parents. They tried to have children for seven and a half years before finally exploring adoption or foster care as an option.
They turned to Adopt Us Kids, a project that helps pair foster children with parents, and aim to help them find their forever homes.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BpKzqiWAIUH/
In a system like the United States, where more than 400,000 children are already ready and waiting to be adopted, it’s a path that helps parents start their loving family sooner and without physical complications.
So when they came across a red haired blue-eyed child, who already looked so much like themselves, they couldn’t believe it.
It was love at first sight. Even though he was in South Dakota, and they were living in New York, they applied as foster parents and eagerly awaited a response.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BqYmrANAY3J/
They were heartbroken to hear a “no”, which was mainly due to the distance. But Alicia couldn’t let it go.
“I begged [the case worker] to please look at our picture and credentials. My husband and I are both special education teachers, and we have a lot of experience with special needs. Not to mention, he looks just like us!” – Alicia Dougherty
Alicia sent through a photo that highlighted her features that matched the young boy’s, and it convinced the caseworker. A few months later, they flew down to South Dakota to meet their soon-to-be son, Alex, for the very first time.
The three of them hit it off immediately and it was as if they became a family in an instant.
“He ran into the office and right into my husband’s arms. ‘DAD!!!’ Then he looked at me with a huge smile across his face, and yelled, ‘MOM!!!” – Alicia Dougherty
https://www.instagram.com/p/o3Qi6ZJdAK/
Alex sometimes asked about his biological mother over the years, but she had asked for a closed adoption, so Alicia and her husband had a limited number of answers to the ever-growing list of questions. They didn’t even have a way to contact her.
When adoption records are closed, they are inaccessible to anyone except for the biological parents. Even when adopted kids have questions, the adoption agency can’t access the details without the consent of those who gave them up for adoption.
It makes it difficult or near impossible for an adopted child to find their birth parents.
But in our modern day – with internet stalking and technology at our fingertips – tracking strangers down has become infinitely easier.
Alicia found Alex’s biological mother on Facebook.
“I didn’t reach out right away. I was hesitant because I feared she wouldn’t be receptive to me reaching out to her. I didn’t want to unknowingly open any wounds she had maybe intentionally closed when she placed him for adoption.” – Alicia Dougherty
Alicia took a shot in the dark and reached out, simply telling Alex’s biological mother how happy they were to have adopted her son, what an amazing person he is, and how thankful they were to have him.
To her great surprise, the mother replied!
Alex was able to communicate with her via letter, e-mail, and phone call, but was still yearning to see her in person again. But the travel costs were astronomical – about $1,500 for one flight. The bus and train combos were still expensive and took twice as long, if not more.
But when COVID hit, flight prices hit an all time low. Alicia found a round trip ticket for just $300 and had to take the opportunity. She contacted Alex’s birth mother and arranged for her to fly up to New York for a surprise meeting.
“I was extremely nervous on the day of his mom’s flight here. It was an entire range of emotions. I was nervous, but excited. What if she didn’t like us? How was Alex going to respond? So many other questions raced through my mind.” – Alicia Dougherty
When Alex saw his birth mother step out of the car he stopped dead in his tracks.
After a quick beat to process what was going on, he went bolting into her arms, cried, and hugged her tightly.
He loved his adoptive family, but was missing a key piece of his heart by being so far from his biological mom.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CCcZfAMBx2y/?utm_source=ig_embed
He still lives in New York with his family, but communicates with his mom with texts and calls.
The family hopes to fly her up again in four years for his high school graduation.
“Alex’s happiness means the world to me. He is turning into a young man full of love, with a wise level of empathy. His birth mom credits my nurturing parenting, but I credit her nature. That heart of his is gold, that came from her. I can never thank her enough for giving birth to my best friend.” – Alicia Dougherty
Alex was just the first of many in their family, and Alicia and her husband have gone on to birth or adopt nine more children. They now go by the “Dougherty Dozen”.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B1sPFE1HTjq/
The power of a strong family bond can’t be compared, and it’s beautiful that Alex can enjoy both sides of his biological and adopted family together in harmony. That’s a lot of love!
You can follow their beautiful story and family as it continues to grow on Instagram or Facebook.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
Sources: Love What Matters, Find Law
