As the past fades away and the years left ahead are ticking by all too quickly, it’s easy to become forlorn as the end of life draws near. The elderly often lapse into depression for many reasons, oftentimes fueled by loneliness or health issues that are weighing them down.
Sometimes being moved from a home where they’ve lived a lifetime, where memories exist in every room, into a nursing home can be a very difficult transition. Bidding goodbye to a lifelong home and adjusting to a new bedroom at a facility is quite an adjustment.
In fact, the University of California at San Francisco found that 43 percent of surveyed older adults felt lonely, but only 18 percent actually lived alone. That startling statistic applies even to those who live in bustling senior facilities where people abound, but relationships do not.
Seniors who relocate to an elder care facility or nursing home often adjust better when a spouse accompanies them. Independent living communities, assisted living facilities, nursing homes and memory care units for those with Alzheimer’s and dementia often offer options for couples to live in the same residence, helping make the move easier.
As sound as it sounds, many couples hope they pass away at the same time, lessening the depth of despair and sorrow a surviving spouse experiences. And sometimes, as far fetched as it sounds, it really does happen.
But when a senior spouse sadly passes away, the loss is unfathomable. The grief grips the surviving spouse, reminding him or her of just how frail life really is.
After spending decades together with a spouse, suddenly finding oneself alone — even in a busy nursing home — can be sorrowful. Some might count down the days until they can be together once again.
There are ways to cope, but it’s an emotional rollercoaster missing that loved one. Ken, a resident at a nursing home in Preston, England, knew the heartache that comes with losing a spouse.
He grappled with the loss of his wife even as they rang in their Golden Years together at a senior facility.
Ken and his wife had stayed together at Thistleton Lodge, a senior care home, until she passed away. Ken missed her terribly and consoled himself in an interesting way…
To make sure his wife’s memory didn’t fade away and to feel close to her, every bedtime, Ken would clutch a framed photo of his wife and drift asleep holding her in his arms. He slept with that photo every single night.
Kia Tobin works at the facility and caught on to lonely Ken’s nighttime routine. It was both beautiful and heartbreaking.
She couldn’t imagine that sleeping with the photograph was terribly comfortable, so she hatched a plan to help him. She hoped he would love her idea.
The employee had a comfy cozy pillow made for Ken with his wife’s photo printed across it. She couldn’t wait to give it to him, but Kia could never have imagined his reaction.
Kia walked into Ken’s room and eagerly stood there, anticipating giving him her surprise.
“Hello! I got you a present.”
Ken smiled back at Kia and asked her, “What’s that, darling?”
Then Kia presents him with the pillow that she had cradled in her arms, Ken makes an inaudible sound and then shouts “Oooh!”
Suddenly, Ken bursts into tears while hugging the pillow tightly to his chest. Kia and the person accompanying her didn’t expect Ken to appreciate it so much.
She leaned down and hugged him while Ken sobbed behind the pillow. He looked at the photo and exclaimed, “Oh darling.”
Ken was encouraged to show everyone what emotional gift he’d just received and he extends the pillow toward his pal in the room.
“Oh Ken, how beautiful! How beautiful.”
Kia explained that she thought the plush pillow “might be a bit better than your photograph.”
Ken beams back at her and demands another appreciative hug.
“Oh come here.”
Ken’s grief over losing his wife is still raw, but hopefully, this thoughtful gift will ease some of his sorrow. What an amazing thing this employee did for him!
Watch his reaction in the video below. It’s so moving!
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