It was designed to be a way for women to express some of the toxic things they faced every day – from mansplaining to unwanted advances – and give guys a heads up on what constituted bad behavior.
Of course, just like everything else on the Internet, it went sideways quickly.
People assumed all women were complaining about all men and lumping them into the same category. It was called sexist. Things got cruel. Women were called even worse names than usual. And, of course, some women also took it as an opportunity to be cruel right back.
As one might expect, there were response hashtags calling out women too.
But the real point of the exercise was to be informative and we’ve gathered some of the tweets that came of it, for better or for worse. And as long as you don’t take offense to it immediately, you might end up learning something.
Here are a few dozen things women don’t want from men:
1. Catcalls
But jokes aside, being yelled at on the street is scary (and we have good reason to be afraid even if we ignore it). Being told by complete strangers how we look is off-putting (even if it’s a so-called “compliment”).
Just don’t do it.
2. More bystanders
Some of the backlash against movements like #metoo has been about how women have made it hard for men to figure out what’s ok and what’s not.
So let’s make it simple – keep your hands to yourself, don’t talk about our looks at work, and help put a stop to it among your buddies. Get mad at them, not the women they harass.
3. Implying fatherhood is a favor
It’s natural for moms to get frustrated when their partners call their basic parental duties a chore (or “job”).
No one gets paid for taking care of their own children. You’re not getting a parade or a prize for it any time soon.
4. A “free” lecture
If you’ve noticed that you’ve droned on and on without hearing more than an “uh-huh” from your conversation partner for a few minutes, chances are it’s time to be quiet.
And contrary to popular belief, we don’t need things explained to us just because someone knows something about them.
Women often know the answer, believe it or not. And if they didn’t ask to begin with, try reading the room to see if your soliloquy is being appreciated.
5. To be told they don’t understand
You can’t expect a woman to have the same read on a situation as a man does 100% of the time – but that doesn’t mean she’s lacking information.
Try taking an interest in her side.
6. Workplace inequality
How is that offensive? (Don’t ask, because some people found it plenty offensive for some inexplicable reason).
7. Sexual assault
Just don’t grab us anywhere – does that help with the confusion?
And don’t make jokes about women being sexually assaulted – that only serves to normalize it.
8. An invitation to smile
It’s quite another to meander down the bar and say it to a complete stranger. And telling someone to smile is a really odd request if you think about it.
How would you like it if you were trying to have a moment to yourself or just get some work done and someone told you to contort your face the way they like to see it?
9. To be told how to live
Telling women whether or when to have kids, how to do their jobs, what goals they should aspire to, etc. is just demeaning.
Of course not all men do this, but there are plenty of people who patronize women and it needs to stop. Is that really asking too much?
10. Hysterics
We can all lose control of our emotions sometimes and we should all do better to keep them in check. But don’t pin that trait on women alone.
11. A wandering eye
It’s the gawking, comparing, and disrespect is the problem, especially if you’re already partnered. And, yes, same goes for women (obviously).
12. Denied leadership
It shouldn’t be too much to ask to even it out – and that goes for the highest levels of office as well.
No one deserves to get elected because they are a woman. But they certainly don’t deserve to be denied a vote because of their gender.
13. Tax fraud
Instead of feeling like women are accusing all men of this, just agree this guy is a jerk and let’s all move on.
14. To be compared to porn
Good luck with that.
If women want to remove their body hair, that’s their decision. But exptecting a grown woman to be hairless from the neck down is pretty absurd – and yes, the only people who are naturally like that are children, so it does tend to creep some of us out.
15. To be spoken over
No one should do it.
But just because men can say “well women do this too” doesn’t mean they should ignore the advice.
16. Entitlement
17. A violent reaction to rejection
Chances are we’ve already dealt with some bad reactions to saying no and there’s no way to predict it, so this one is important for men to hear.
If you think it isn’t true, just look at any woman who argues with a man online and see the names she’s called. Now imagine that in real life and combine it with the hundreds of stories a year we here about violence against women.
The fear is real, even if you think it’s unfounded and ridiculous.
18. Implying responsibilities are favors
There’s no such thing as “women’s work” unless you live in the dark ages, so we all have to do our part.
19. A play-by-play – of a thing they witnessed
Just try giving women the floor once in a while and understand that we don’t need an entire lecture on your take of the events all the time.
Self-awareness is key for everyone.
20. Unsolicited advice
But every now and then a guy nails it.
We just hope Jeff took his own advice.
21. Your ideas about the end of feminism
Feminism isn’t some radical idea, it’s just a basic call for humanity towards all people, regardless of gender.
Don’t tell women they can’t band together to make the world a safer and fairer place – otherwise you’re just proving that it’s not.
22. To be left out of discussions about women
Sure, men can be experts on women’s health because that’s their area of knowledge, but if you saw a group of women talking about what’s best for men, wouldn’t you feel something was off?
The fact that the hashtag got so much blowback from some men was proof of that!
23. Breathtaking hypocrisy
Women tend to be more outwardly emotional. But has that really provided us with the world we want to live in?
Are things ideal the way they are now?
24. Appliances as gifts
Plenty of guys looked at the hashtag because it popped up right before Christmas and were hoping to see what not to get their wives and girlfriends for the holidays – so this one gave them a good warning.
25. The insanity of taking Twitter so seriously
The inability to just ignore or move on from something that bothers you says more about you than it does about anything or anyone else.
26. Bad pickup lines
Yes, it’s intimidating to introduce yourself to someone (and yes, even more so since women are not always receptive to being talked to). But if you’re working on your pickup lines, you really need to put your efforts elsewhere.
27. Dirty laundry, literal or figurative
Just do it yourself.
28. Anger
The worst thing a guy can do is get mad at a woman who says this.
29. Dick pics
We’re almost always perplexed by a man’s willingness to send one. Isn’t that kind of dangerous from a personal privacy standpoint too?
Just keep your phone out of your pants.
30. Mandatory conversation
If a woman ignores you or passes on the conversation you’re offering up, just chill. It’s not worth getting upset about.
31. Weird gifts
Just save your money.
32. Farts
And he brings the truth.
33. A lack of basic bathroom etiquette
The bathroom is for everyone, so maybe just leave it the way you found it. Mmkay?
34. Negativity
If she tries and fails, then so be it.
Do you really want to be told you can’t do something? It’s a rude thing to say. Just keep it in your head.
35. Instructions on how to use their bodies
We’ll go ahead and make our own rules for them as well.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but forcing it on others is a whole other matter.
36. A Peleton bike
We kind of wonder how many of those actually sold this past Christmas.
It’s always safest to avoid buying exercise equipment for your parnter unless they specifically ask for it.
37. To be treated “like a girl”
We hope this woman fired her maintenance man that very minute.
38. To hear bragging
But just because some people are materialistic doesn’t mean you have an invitation to share all of this information unprovoked.
You can charter a jet? Cool. Charter is right out of here, please.
39. STDs
This one goes both ways.
40. Advice on something they’ll never know
It’s just kind of odd that men think we can’t even make our own list of things we don’t want without their help though.
41. Responses to this hashtag
You don’t have to read the hashtag, but women also don’t need help using it either.
Just ignore it if you don’t find it amusing or useful.
42. Holiday-hijacking proposals
Guys, a lot of us feel you on this – it’s too much pressure.
But a proposal is a big deal and really shouldn’t be a total shock. A couple should discuss it first.
And if they do and agree to get married, there’s no need to stage the proposal in front of a group that’s just trying to enjoy a holiday together.
Romantic moments are best kept private sometimes.
43. Thinking respect is currency
That’s actually just the end of the conversation.
44. Feeling attacked by a hashtag
Some people’s inability to just accept that there are problematic behaviors that need to be addressed was really astonishing.
45. Being told how to be the “right kind” of woman
You can always go find a woman that meets your definition if you’ve got a problem.
46. Clapback hashtags that miss the point
Sadly, most people weren’t surprised when #WomenAreTrash was trending the next day.
The Internet sure is a swell place, isn’t it?
47. Only accepting male authority
If we disagree with our male partners, they don’t automatically get the deciding vote.
End of story.
48. This kind of garbage
He got called out more than once in a similar fashion.
But honestly, it’s just not worth responding to.
49. Limits
There really are a lot of people who hate women out there and who think nothing of harming the ones who don’t live exactly the way some men want.
50. Assuming politeness is sexual
When they find out we don’t, more accusations and name-calling ensue.
We just can’t win sometimes.
51. Being harassed over a hashtag
The sad part is that it was not surprising.
52. Mommy issues
If you really need someone else, you can get a therapist.
All of us need to get a handle on our parental issues and not take them out on our partners.
53. Having to say “no” more than once
If a woman has the guts to say no, respect it the first time.
If she has to say it twice, you need to back WAY off.
54. Mansplaining
We don’t need things simplified for us and we certainly don’t need men to tell us what’s what if we are the ones with the experience.
You know what’s sexy? Listening.
55. Meat temperatures
If we don’t want our steak dripping blood, we don’t need to hear about how we’re not appreciating it properly.
Just eat your meat the way you like it and we’ll do the same. It’s all good. It’s not a competition to see who can eat the rawest animal.
56. All the “expertise”
Tim here decided to enlighten us with some personal experience of his own. He’s big enough to make fun of himself about it, and it’s safe to say he’s right.
If you have an opinion about the dishwasher, load it yourself.
57. Empty sentiments
People seem to think that once they type it out they’ve expressed enough emotion to just have everyone move on from tragedy.
It’s hard to know what to say sometimes, but it’s safe to say this rarely makes people feel better.
58. Being told to “calm down”
Do you like hearing them?
Shouldn’t that be an indication that it’s a bad idea to let these phrases come out of your mouth then?
59. This
This was a much-needed moment of levity when things got overly serious.
60. Any crap
And why did a little hashtag force people to prove that women can’t do anything without being attacked?
Can’t we all just get along?
Not on the Internet, apparently.
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