When it comes to weddings, there’s often an unspoken set of rules about what guests should wear.
Generally, you’d don your Sunday best, or perhaps something more thematic if the wedding calls for it, like floral shirts for a Hawaiian theme.
However, one cardinal rule usually stands firm: guests should avoid wearing white, a color traditionally reserved for the bride.
But what happens when someone not only breaks this rule but takes it to another level by wearing a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding?
This intriguing scenario unfolded at a recent wedding, where a woman decided to wear her wedding dress to her brother’s wedding.
Understandably, this left the bride quite upset.
But before jumping to conclusions, it’s important to consider the background of this story, which might just sway your opinion on whether her choice was a faux pas or a misunderstood gesture.
Here’s the story, as shared on Reddit by “ohdearlacy.”
“My brother and his wife planned a winter wonderland wedding, everyone was supposed to be dressed in either silver, white or light blue to fit the theme.
All the outfits were supposed to be dramatic, even my brother’s wife said she didn’t mind if they didn’t even stand out, we were all supposed to look like rockstars there was even to be a prize for the best-dressed guest at the end, a fun game, I wanted to play along.”
The theme of the wedding was certainly not your typical affair.
Guests were encouraged to dress extravagantly, in line with a ‘winter wonderland’ theme, which included a palette of silver, white, and light blue.
The bride herself seemed open to the idea of guests blending in with the theme, even to the point of the couple not “standing out.”
She continued:
“I saw a lot of his other friends were buying expensive gowns and they were looking gorgeous, I haven’t been working so much as of late so there was no way for me to keep up with it.
I had dinner with them a few months before the wedding and my brother suggested that I wear my own wedding gown (white and silver) since I never ended up getting married, she agreed as well because other people were going to be in white anyway.”
Finally, the big day arrived.
“The wedding came and I wore my wedding gown, I got complimented on it all night (I pulled no focus from the bride, it was quite clearly their night) and I won the best-dressed award.
The Wife was super nice the entire night but then I didn’t hear from my brother for about a week.”
She explained:
“When I went over to find out what had happened, apparently his wife was extremely upset at me wearing the wedding gown and that I ruined her big day and the only person who should be in a wedding dress at a wedding is the bride.
I agree but I had former confirmation from both of them so I didn’t think it would be an issue. She called me a lot of names and my brother even said the way she’s been talking about me he’s starting to regret marrying her, he’s very protective of his siblings.”
The aftermath had revealed a different story.
The bride felt that the woman’s choice to wear a wedding gown had overshadowed her on her special day.
Despite the prior agreement, she was deeply upset.
This led to a significant strain in the family dynamics, with the brother caught in the middle.
“I can kind of see where she’s coming from and I feel like my dress has driven this wedge between them already, the guilt is basically eating me alive.
She says I’m an AH and I should have known better despite her ‘obvious reluctant confirmation’ and my brother says I’m completely fine and did nothing wrong. I’m torn.”
So, whose side did the majority of people take? Ding, ding, ding – the sister in the wedding dress wins!
One Reddit user commented:
“They suggested it AND you got both of their approvals. If this was going to be an issue, she shouldn’t have said yes. Or, if she wasn’t comfortable saying no at that time, she could have pulled either you or your brother aside to let you know she wasn’t comfortable with it at any point in the months before the wedding.”
Another wrote:
“NTA. it was your brothers idea, she knew it was a wedding dress and agreed that it would be perfectly fine. You did as the bride agreed and she I guess just decided she didn’t like it after all. Totally not your fault.”
Someone else shared:
“You can’t announce what is essentially a costume party, and then complain that a guest wore … a costume. She’s being ridiculous.”
This story certainly presents a unique situation.
While the traditional rule of not wearing white to a wedding is well-known, the circumstances here were anything but ordinary.
With the bride’s initial consent and the specific theme of the wedding, it’s a tale that blurs the lines of wedding etiquette and family dynamics.
What do you think? Was this a case of a misunderstood gesture or a clear breach of wedding guest etiquette?
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