First dates. Your chance to make a good, lasting impression, or the complete opposite depending on your date’s “standards”. See, we all have preferences. Some reasonable and perfectly understandable, some ridiculous, and some downright questionable. While it’s entirely up to you if you want to take it a step further by going on a second date, it can be pretty nerve-wracking especially if one of you is already invested and the other doesn’t seem the least bit interested.
You pick out a good outfit, make sure you’re looking and smelling good, and you’ve somehow rehearsed bits of conversation in your head. You know, just in case of dead air.
But what if none of those things matter to your date? What if the things you’ve meticulously prepared are actually the bits that somehow turn your date off?
Ideally, you just try to shrug it off, let things be, and wish them well. We’ve got an example to get you thinking.
Relationship coach Akinbosola Adeyemi advises against this particular trait: taking food home after a date.
To some, it isn’t a big deal at all. For others, it’s a dealbreaker.
In a tweet, Adeyemi breaks it down by explaining,
“It’s tacky to go and a date and ask for a take away because you can’t finish what you ordered for or you want more to take home for yourself or your hungry friends. Don’t do it. It’s a major turn. You’d mostly likely not get a second date.”
This raises a number of questions for the relationship coach.
What if the girl who brought food home was struggling financially and would maximize every opportunity to put food on the table at home? Or perhaps she’s the type who would hate to see perfectly good food go to waste, hence the move to bring it home instead? Better yet, what if the takeout was intended for the homeless?
The relationship coach may have every right to voice out his opinion on the matter but it isn’t fair to conclude that the act of bringing food home is automatically a negative trait.
Adeyemi further adds,
Again, a date is not about how much food you can eat and take home with you. A date should not be centered around food. A date is a avenue where 2 people meet up to see if there’s a vibe and connection that might lead to knacks or a serious relationship. It’s not about food.
— Akinbosola ogunsanya (@MrAkinbosola) November 9, 2020
To each his own rings true but perhaps the world would be a much better place if we paused before judging and thought things through before concluding. One may have a list of preferences in terms of the ideal date but perhaps just simply being humane should precede all that. Let’s be better at not letting the trivial things cloud our judgment.
Here’s hoping more first dates don’t fail simply because of privileges and prejudices.
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