We’ve all met one. That one friend, colleague or relative who just can’t seem to stop making everything about them. I’ll bring up how bay my day is, and they’ve just got to one-up me and tell me how theirs was so much worse.
Those people are all known by one, recognizable word: Narcissists
By nature, a narcissist has little regard or thought for other people. We all just exist to give them validation. How do these people live?
Well, let Dr. Marcia Sirota go into more detail for you.
Dr. Sirota MD is a psychiatrist who authored the book “Be Kind, Not Nice”, and delving into the nuances of human behavior is what she does for a living.
“The extreme narcissist is a person characterized by a complete lack of empathy for other people. They feel superior to others and see people as either enabling them to get what they want or preventing them from getting what they want.”
It’s no surprise, then, that narcissists are rarely ever seen apologizing or taking accountability for their mistakes.
They don’t make any, according to them.
Indeed, it’s far more likely that they’ll see mistakes in you. Narcissistic personalities thrive on this – it fuels their perception that they’re a cut above you and everyone else.
“Deep down, the extreme narcissist feels inadequate and insecure. As a result, they’re tremendously touchy and easily insulted. They need to surround themselves with fawning acolytes who are constantly building them up.”
Dealing with a narcissist is incredibly hard, and sometimes – for some reason- we care too much about ruining our relationships with a narcissistic person. This can lead to some pretty nasty interactions, everything from gaslighting to straight-up fighting.
It’s difficult, to say the least.
One could say that this is the secret ingredient to a toxic relationship, and you’d be pretty on the mark. But there’s one thing that hasn’t been mentioned yet, and it’s probably the most important part : How do you know you’re not a narcissist?
It’s all fun to read about narcissism and toxic behavior on the internet and point fingers at someone, but a narcissist by nature only sees the faults of other people. The problem could be you, and you wouldn’t know.
Self-awareness can go a long way.
Holding yourself accountable is a massive step, and so is self-reflection. You won’t know how other people feel about you unless you listen to them. Who’s gonna tell you that you’re being a selfish jerk? Not you, obviously.
“The extreme narcissist is a person characterized by a complete lack of empathy for other people. They feel superior to others and see people as either enabling them to get what they want or preventing them from getting what they want.”
Narcissism only hurts people, and you wouldn’t want to hurt people would you?
We all need to be a lot more self-aware. Changing your behavior isn’t going to happen without that first step! Lack of empathy is in the very definition of Narcissistic personality disorder.
Now that we’ve talked about it, it should be a lot easier to spot a narcissist in the future, shouldn’t it? Even if it might be you.
Give yourself the errand of learning to be more self-aware and empathetic, and you’ll be fine.
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