Flying on a plane is way safer than you might think.
We all fear the tiny possibility of a crash or a hijack, but you’re way more likely to get attacked by a dog than be in an airplane disaster. Or, at least, so they say.
But some passengers still need reassuring that they’re safe.
That’s where flight captains and attendants come in.
Before takeoff, they have to communicate with the passengers and let them know they’re in good hands.
If you’re good at your job, you’ll be able to convince everyone with a calm voice and a great choice of words.
This captain and his attendant began the pre-flight “talk”, and they were determined to make the information stick.
The captain starts off simply by introducing the crew by name and letting the passengers know where to find them.
He tells them how to fasten a seatbelt “in the event that you haven’t been in an automobile since 1942.”
That already gets a good chuckle from them. And if they need visual instruction, another flight attendant is there to show them with a demonstration seatbelt.
As for where they’re headed, this attendant seems to fancy a hotel stop when they land.
He says you want to wear the seatbelts nice and tight around your hip, just like “the hot pink speedo I’m wearing tonight when we get to the hotel hot tub.”
At least he’s transparent, you know?
And if his humor isn’t to your liking, he’s more than happy to show you the six ways out of the airplane.
No parachutes? Not their problem. You’re the one who wants to leave.
There’s no smoking on this flight, but if you’re adamant, there’s a smoking hall across the wings of the aircraft.
You’re allowed to smoke if you’re talented enough to make that journey and light the cigarette.
Wondering what those U-shaped inflatable things you see are? Well, no fear, the flight attendant makes it easy to understand what they’re for.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is a life vest. It’s not a toilet seat cover. It goes over your head.”
Was that easy to follow? Good.
Oh, and what about the oxygen masks?
He’s got quite a lot more jokes to rattle off, and the oxygen masks are his best material.
Decompression isn’t something you want to happen, but it can always happen. So the airline provides oxygen breathing masks at each seat.
Put them over your mouth in the event that happens, and follow his instructions.
Though his instructions come with recommendations too.
“For those of you traveling with your kids… why?”
And for the parents with two kids and not enough masks, he suggests giving the mask to the brighter kid because they’re the ones who’re gonna contribute to your retirement most successfully.
I’ll say, he’s really good at financial planning, isn’t he?
To provide a closing statement, he asks that you enjoy the in-flight hospitality.
And that if you marry one of them, your flights will be free from then on.
Watch this hilarious duo put the flight at ease with his hilarious safety speech below!
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