Doctors are required by law to keep things a “secret”. What happens between you and your doctor – stays between you and your doctor.
You could go see a doctor about a very serious problem, and these white coat-wearing pros will answer you with a straight face no matter how embarrassing your problem may be.
The old lady below will tell you the same. While red-faced from embarrassment but still.
Silent but Deadly
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,
“Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent.
As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office.
You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.”
The doctor says, “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.”
The next week the lady comes back.
“Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent…stink terribly.”
The doctor says, “Good!!! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.
Good old doctor.
See, he was kind enough to take on the old lady’s other problems. Like an elimination process. After all, he is trained to do so. Amazing he didn’t pass out from the relentless bombardment.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of either. Lots of people suffer from gas.
You won’t hear it, and let’s hope you don’t smell it.
And it is common as one ages so the old lady isn’t alone in facing the problem.
Now with regards to her sinuses and hearing, well the doctor’s got those problems covered. Along with his nose.
Culprits of flatulence include:
- Eating high-fiber foods like beans, legumes, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains
- Drinking carbonated beverages
- Chewing gum
- Eating too quickly or talking while chewing, which results in swallowing more air
- Drinking through a straw
- Consuming artificial sweeteners
- Chronic intestinal diseases like diverticulitis or inflammatory bowel disease
- Food intolerances like celiac disease or lactose intolerance
- Bacterial overgrowth in the small bowel
Just wait…here’s the interesting part.
The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK) says that passing gas 13 to 21 times a day is perfectly normal.
That’s a day.
The old lady expelled twenty in a span of a few minutes.
Now one has to wonder how many times she passes gas in a day. At least she’s honest about her problem.
We hope the doc stocked up on some disinfecting spray!
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