Life isn’t easy for many autistic people. A lot of experts say we should drop the “autistic” label and think of autism as an example of the wide range of neurodiversity of which humans are capable. But even in 2019, people still react with stigma and judgment when they interact with those who are on the spectrum.
But one employee at Universal Orlando Resort recently went out of her way to be compassionate to a young autistic boy who was struggling to cope.
Lenore Koppelman made a Facebook post about the experience, telling the story of her 9-year-old son Ralph.
“Ralph is awesomely autistic, and we are proud to be a neurodiverse family,” wrote Koppelman. “As wonderful, loving, intelligent and incredible as Ralph is, sometimes he struggles. (Don’t we all?)”
Many people, Koppelman went on to say, are shocked to see an autistic meltdown, which can occur when Ralph becomes emotionally overwhelmed.
They tend to see it as a temper tantrum and think that he should be punished. But Ralph isn’t acting out.
“…the fact of the matter is that it is not the act of a spoiled and naughty child,” said Koppelman. “It’s a cry for help. This is Ralph’s way of saying ‘I don’t know how to monitor and regulate my emotions right now. I need help, please! I’m scared! I’m overwhelmed! I want to feel better and I don’t know how!’”
The day at the theme park was long, with hours of waiting for rides.
Ralph was particularly excited to go on the Spiderman ride at the Islands of Adventure.
He waited patiently through the day and did exercises he’d learned to help him cope with the frustration and disappointment of waiting. Then, after hours, they were finally able to go to the ride. But just as they were about to get on the ride they were hit with disappointment. The ride had broken down.
“Ralph collapsed onto the floor while crowds of people were attempting to exit the ride and the gift shop attached to it,” said Koppelman. “He began sobbing, screaming, rocking, hyperventilating, and truly struggling to breathe.”
After the long hours of being patient and feeling so excited, the disappointment and frustration overwhelmed Ralph.
That was when a park employee named Jen ran over.
Koppelman and her husband were trying to get Ralph up off the floor, scared that he would be hurt in the crowd. But to their shock, Jen had a different method. She laid down beside Ralph and encouraged him to let out his frustration and sadness, letting him sob. She also patiently controlled the crowd, telling people to continue moving and refusing to let anyone stop to take a photo.
Jen also validated Ralph’s feelings, saying that she understood exactly how he felt and she would be sad, too.
After a while, he was able to calm down.
Jen said her own nephew is autistic, which is why she knows how to help during a “meltdown.” Getting down on Ralph’s level, letting him work through his emotions, and validating his feelings were all things that helped him feel better. Her approach was non-confrontational and put herself on his level. But she also didn’t make eye contact, which can be stressful for many autistic people.
“What Jen did is a way of saying, ‘I agree with you, I support your feelings, but I’ll lie here quietly,’” Koppelman said.
“There’s no eye contact, it’s not in-your-face. It’s understanding that you do feel sad and frustrated, and I hear that and I validate that.”
Jen also made it possible for them to find something Spiderman-themed in the gift shop for free. Ralph chose a dog tag and a notebook. In spite of the disappointment, he still had a wonderful day. Koppelman said they were deeply thankful to Jen for her kindness and patience.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
