58 first dates that turned into hilarious disasters

First dates are always nerve-wracking. Even if you know the person, the experience can still be overwhelming.

Some first dates can be disastrous. And some were so bad, they were really funny.

If you’ve ever had a bad first date, read this and feel much better about your own date.

1. Traffic ticket

Well, if all goes well, they’ll have something to laugh about at parties, their wedding, with their grandchildren, and many more. She just needs to get past the cop-ticket thing. Did she do it?

2. “Mute” date

Did she just randomly pick Scott? Does she know his blind date, knew she wasn’t coming, and took her place? Lucky her though, she got a free meal.

3. Double date

Double dates are usually two couples going on a date together in one table. It’s not two dates in one night and in the same restaurant. Wonder if the other girl found out, too.

4. Out his nose

How can an onion come out his nose? Is he okay? Was it really an onion?

5. Mom said no

Hmmm… maybe he was born during the leap year. Maybe his mom still believes he’s five years old. Maybe.

6. Not your typical office

Other people just need to drop off papers or packages or meals at the office. This guy is different. And if they end up together, she’s going to be dropping for quick stops in the office indefinitely on the way to dates.

7. Not a dog

What was it about her outfit or her hair that made her look like a dog? Did she bark or growl during the date? Does he find it adorable when she whimpers? Again though, she is not a dog. She is human.

8. Family reunion

These are the times when the worst time became a good thing. It might be the worst first date but they definitely needed to know that. They had to know that before things escalated to dangerous levels.

9. It’s not pee

Of course, it was nerves. But you know what? If that didn’t happen, he might have peed himself from all the nerves. So yeah, spilled soda is better. Right?

10. Mysterious chaperone

We thought this was going to be another “double date.” Is this better or worse? Will Dad come to dinner, too?

11. From first dates to weddings

How did things escalate from first dates to weddings? She just wanted to have a good time. Choosing wedding dresses was not part of it.

12. Cruel prank

What is he, 12? Seriously, he should be banned from going on any date. Wonder how many women he’ll torture on first dates before he finds his match or someone who’ll teach him a lesson.

13. Fortune teller

Just in case, you know, she wanted to be prepared. She needed to be prepared. Can you do what she did?

14. Regretfully

This is why you don’t text and drive and text. There will always be messages sent to the wrong numbers. But at least they both won’t need to worry about turning down a second date.

15. Not my car

She likes to plan ahead. But this time, it might be too ahead. And who doesn’t lock their parked car?

16. Was it an accident?

Was it intentional? Was it accidental? We need more details.

17. What a bloody date!

And it’s also a very memorable date. We’re glad it was a treatable injury. Hope she was more careful walking during the second date and there was a third and fourth and many more.

18. How long does it take to spend $2,000?

For this guy, it’s 2 minutes. He probably already knew what he wanted before the date. So yeah, he’s definitely a professional thief.

19. Can’t let go

When your date can’t let go of the past, it’s going to be hard to move forward with them. And it’s also hard to think past an Applebee’s date when you’re both working adults. Well, actually, the Applebee’s can be forgiven. But the ex-wife waitress? Another story.

20. He needs a therapist

He doesn’t need a date. He can’t date. Not yet. Not until he sees a therapist.

21. Did he bring extra clothes?

Nice way to make a date that’s quite unforgettable. It’ll be for the wrong reasons but no one will forget it, for sure. Hope all his future dates when uphill after that.

22. Let me count the ways

There is nothing worse on a first date than narcissism and arrogance. And this guy displayed both on the first date. Hope she gave him more reasons why he will never go past a first date.

23. Simple and unique

In brighter circumstances, this date might have worked. Well, except for the deer and coyote part. That is never okay.

24. One request

Her friend left out one big detail from the blind date. And why wouldn’t he? It’s a definite deal-breaker.

25. How rude!

Good for her! That pizza is definitely way better than whatever she’ll eat with him. Bet he’s eating a slice of humble pie.

26. Another double date

But this time, it’s with her date’s parents. Wonder how their conversation went. Can’t believe she actually had the appetite to go through the meal.

27. Sweat fest

How can you expect a second date after a sweat fest? The only good thing about this date, Jenn knows not to waste any more time with him. Good riddance.

28. Not because of her cooking

Looks like Gerry could cook anyway. Their marriage has worked perfectly with this arrangement.

29. Before there were cellphones

Do you remember we used to look up phone numbers and addresses in phone books? Yes, that giant book with yellow pages that are sometimes used as a paperweight or door stopper. Hope they found the address before he could be really late for their date.

30. Bad memory

It’s a good thing he didn’t let her bad memory get in the way of a good relationship. Did she remember his face when she walked down the aisle towards him? Let’s hope so!

31. Bye bye bye

Wow. Gotta admit, that’s a pretty creative way

32. Multi-tasker and forward thinker

Well, you know, he doesn’t play games and he knows what he wants. Unfortunately, she doesn’t want the same. And she definitely doesn’t want that for the first date. Who does?

33. Dress up nice

Wonder what he wore to the date. Did he put on a tie? Was he wearing a tux? Did he give her flowers? Was it a five-star Waffle House?

34. Boxing lesson

Maybe she needed and wanted boxing lessons and Mike gave her what she wanted. Maybe the date was so good, she didn’t even remember the elbow. Or maybe she’s just that nice and they’re also meant to be.

35. Too smart for him

Yes, because all women are supposed to be dumber than men. She really showed him! Go, girl!

36. Want your date’s food?

When you want to ask for your date’s food but don’t know how to ask, sneeze on their food instead. There won’t be a second date, of course. But if you’re hungry, you gotta do what you gotta do.

37. It’s all you, girl

He’s all for female empowerment. Probably. And maybe he wants her to have good financial status. Maybe not.

38. He was already full

It didn’t make sense to have a second dinner if he’s already full. And he probably assumed she doesn’t eat a lot. She’s a woman after all. And women don’t and shouldn’t eat a lot, right?

39. Taking a stand

You can take a stand anytime. But a person still has to eat. So eat first, maybe protest later.

40. Group date

But instead of three couples, it’s most likely six friends watching a movie. Was he specific when he asked her? Did he really say date?

41. Super bored

Just when you thought things were going good, they’re so not. And the clincher? Her house is an hour’s walk away.

42. Faceplanted was a better excuse

What is up with 5 o’clock shadows? No woman likes it. Maybe some do but most don’t. If they do like it, ask yourself, how do the women kiss you, if they kiss you at all?

43. No kiss tonight

The kiss cam is always super awkward. And being forced in front of the camera doesn’t make it any easier. Yup, second date, not happening.

44. Not the usual double date

This is not the double date anyone has in mind, except for the guy. It’s a wonder though that these girls actually stayed for the date. Maybe they were really hungry.

45. Walking tours could have been good

There are so many good walking tours available in almost every major city. And he brings her to an asylum? He ran out of ideas?

46. “Poor man’s appetizer”

Stop going on dates. Get your financial life together. And do more to impress a lady on your first date with her. Otherwise, you’re banned from going on future dates.

47. Worst blind date

This is just the worst blind date scenario. The worst ever. They’ll have to go to therapy to survive and get past this.

48. Such a great conversation

We hope the conversation was THAT great. But even the best conversation doesn’t justify borrowing money from your date. And then spending only half of it on your date.

49. Just to be sure

Subtle moves. Maybe he was trying to put his around her but only reached her hair. And then he decided to commit to it.

50. Worst first ever date

Such a romantic date. Is that what’s like for every first date? Let’s hope not. Because poor them.

51. Engaged after one date

This guy needs to learn from Barney Stinson and use the “Lemon Law.” If he had used that, there wouldn’t be any engagement to get out of. But glad he was still able to get out.

52. “Free meal”

We all want exciting and fun dates. But this is a different kind of exciting, no? And it’s not always the type most people on dates like.

53. Be honest!

There are a lot of MLM companies that are good. But don’t use it as a first date excuse. Just be honest.

54. Ranking girls

Wow. The ladies need to rank him too, but put him at the bottom of the list. Yes, never ever talk to him again.

55. It pays to be independent

Yes, it’s good to know how to do things for yourself. You’re the only who can help yourself. Don’t depend on anyone else.

56. Addicted

Yeah, she probably never noticed he left. She’ll only probably notice when the bill arrives. And then she’ll realize she’ll have to pay. Can she pay her phone?

57. His ideal wife

His ideal wife is a US female citizen. That’s it. Everything else it irrelevant.

58. Not even inside

He could have taken her inside where she could have paid for her food. And he could have used the restroom to do his business. Some people only think of themselves.

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